saturday thoughts

I rewatched Love, Rosie and again couldn’t hold my tears (sometimes I am surprised at what a soft-heart I am 😀 ) I don’t have special powers to extract more information than the producers try to convey in the movies but perhaps I manage to see more than the romance and what some people call “cheesiness” in romantic movies. I mean, the father-daughter relationship, the struggle of being a single mother at the age of 18 and saying goodbye to your dream school and career for that moment, going for your dream school and career but not finding happiness because you are far from your loved ones, never having the guts to announce your love and continue ending up with the wrong person again and again, being cheated on, luckily having friend and family support all along.. and finally without any expectations in terms of love, reaching your goal. And that also happens to be the moment when everything falls in place. OK, call it cheesy, but I love when you can find a piece of you in the main character. And if there is a happy ending, that makes me feel hopeful too.

The part that I related to in this movie was leaving and coming back. And no matter how long and twisted the road might be, still going for making dreams come true. Becauseeee dreams coming true is what gives us the most amount of satisfaction and joy in our lives, isn’t it? At least it is for me 🙂 When I was little I had materialistic dreams: getting my first bike, getting my first watch that was supposed to have a butterfly flying on the screen (I got one with a ladybug instead), building a tree house on top of the plum tree with my grandfather, buying a keyboard and playing some songs etc. I guess my first non-materialistic dream was to become a military pilot but girls couldn’t go to military high schools that’s why when in high school, I dreamt of going to military academy. Then, my career-related dream took a different turn when I returned home with glasses. I was diagnosed with both myopia and astigmatism. Teenage drama, I cried and blamed my mother as astigmatism is inherited genetically 😀

Afterwards, I dreamt of studying Molecular Biology and Genetics abroad, I’ve done it, went on dreaming. Next step was to get into grad school, I’ve done it too. By then, I was in Europe already for 7,5 years and I dreamt of staying in Europe for the rest of my life as I loved traveling cheaply and without visa requirements. What am I dreaming about now? I am an in betweener for the moment. I want something good for my soul, not for my pocket. I am trying to decide which one to go for: being in a place that I love without my loved ones or being with my loved ones in a place that I have forgotten how to love?

In the meantime I am going for little dreams which are good for my soul. I recently bought a cajon, keeping rhythm on every bit of furniture for years was too much of a sign to ignore 🙂 I am finally writing, freely, without the need to search, to make an outline, without the fear of sounding boring. Baby steps are good, right? 🙂

 

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4 thoughts on “saturday thoughts

  1. This is great! I love it when I can relate to characters in movies, too. Good luck with continuing on. I just put up a post about the kinds of moments I believe you are having. Maybe you’ll find it interesting :).

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    1. Hey Isabelle! Yes, I read your post about perfection and not knowing what to do, and I am exactly at that stage. I knew what I wanted to do but without knowing myself so well, and after getting to know my strengths and weaknesses and what I like and what I don’t like which change over the years, I decided to divert from the path that I am on right now. And although that’s a decision by itself, I still don’t have an answer to “what now?” question and I think I will take my time to figure it out.. Nice to meet you!

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      1. Yeah I that’s exactly what I mean. Nice to meet you, too! It’s nice though, don’t you think? It’s scary in a way but there’s also tons of possibilities now that you’re not on a set path.

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  2. yes the fact that there are tons of possibilities make it quite scary because first of all, I don’t know the day-to-day tasks of many jobs that now I should be considering, so I have to sit down and do my research well. and because I don’t know what these positions are really like, I don’t know which one I could show my full potential in :/

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